Funny Kills of mine. Got any to share? - Pontiac GTO Forum
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 04-23-2009, 10:23 AM Thread Starter
 
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Funny Kills of mine. Got any to share?

Figured you guys could share some of your more memorable kills that are either funny NOW or were funny at the time (not necessarily the same thing!).

I've literally street raced thousands of times, both street light, freeway, and illegal backroads 1/4 mile events. My car of choice for most of it was my '78 Z28 which went from low 14's when I got it to high 12's. Right where all the funs at with all the fast stock sports cars, beginning racers, and numerous other characters that make it more entertaining than any other speed group IMO. 12.00 second on down car drivers are too serious and uptight, and slower than low 14's is just too slow IMO.

My funnier stories:

Summer of '96 Friday night in Kirkland, WA (scenic hangout for the Microsoft nerds with there exotic cars, never know what you'll be racing). I was parked BS'ing with my brother when a 3000GT VR4 leaves the nearby stoplight HARD, chirping his 4 tires, then cruises by with the suit and tie driver staring hard at my Z28.

Brother and I glance at each other, and smile. Two sodas hit the ground, I Bo Duke across the hood and we are chasing. Two blocks to catch him at a light, with a Honda full of college age guys inbetween. A perfect race spot: road is elevated going uphill without a turnout for at least a 1/4mile.

The Honda knows whats up, they are looking back at us and up at the VR4, acting all excited. Heh Heh Spectators to the Mother of all Flyby's I'm planning. Green light, Honda follows VR4 on quick jump thru intersection and gets into the other lane and slows. I wait for the gap to widen as the VR4 is just cruising 35mph now, not seeing what is about to happen. NOW! Drop the shifter into first, nail the gas n change lanes. I pass him at 6200rpm, the sound devastatingly loud, bouncing off the concrete blocks on either side of the road like a echo chamber. I see him drinking a Big Gulp all innocent like for a split second before the sound hits him, then he jumps in his seat like a snake bit him when the cascade of sound hits his ears. I missed it, but he CRUSHED the 32 ounce big gulp in his grip and spills it all over himself!!!! My brother is in hysterics as he relays that to me.

Guy initially didnt chase but when he realized he couldnt just wipe the mess up with his hanky he got pissed and chases us, racing us up a freeway onramp (I lost) and on the freeway twice (I won both barely). After both the Big Gulp episode and the 2 loses I woulda figured he would just pull off the freeway anonymously but he actually pulled up next to us and gave my car a thumbs up. Cool dude after all.

Damn that was funny though, I can't help but grin every time I think of that even 12 years later!
The next week I ordered a new cam and intake, cant let it get that close again...
__________________________________________________ ____________________________________________

Cruising thru town in my old '78 4spd Z28 I come across 2 teens in a restored conv. '66 mustang. Daddies car. As i pull up next to them they rev the engine and expose the fact its a stock 289 with cherry bombs to my trained ear.

Next light is last in town and road goes to 55mph and down to 1 lane after about 100 yards-a race instigators dream. As luck would have it its red, no cars around and he is revving his engine while passenger is hooting and hollering. I knod at him. At the green I launch perfectly and immediately have to let up because he is spinning his one tire mercilessly. His 'retro' white wall high mileage single rear tire finally gets more grip than this monster V8 can spin and pulls even with me. I let him start pulling away slowly and his passenger is going nuts beatin on the dash screaming, whooping, absolutely ecstatic. I'm barely quarter throttle. Waiting...waiting... 100 ft till my lane ends.... my Holley 750 double pumper is opposite the passengers head.. then WHAM! I floor it secondaries slam open air flooding thru with a giant vacuum sound- left front of car lifting- tires barely holding traction- perfect 2nd gear shift with squeeling tires- I rocket around them like they where in reverse a scream of joy LITERALLY FROZEN on the passengers face -hand still midair- drivers head snaps over in shock and awe as my car pulls like the proverbial raped ape past and away from them. I was laughing so hard I could barely manage the 2-3 shift.

I slow down to way below speed limit but they wont get anywhere near me. They then pull a U-turn and head back into town with there tail firmly tucked between there knees. God I used to live for those moments.
...The next week I ordered a higher duration cam and tossed the Rhoad's bleeddown lifters so that the lope would scare guys like that away...
__________________________________________________ _______________________________________

Stationed on Whidbey Island, WA. Roger, a friend of mine is the local race instigator and race bookie. Guy could quite literally get a tortoise to race a hare, and make the tortoise think he was favored to win! A non-racing friend of ours had just bought the first LT1 4th gen camaro in town. Parkey's eyes lit the hell up when he saw him pull into the parking lot! He manages to convince him that his car is good for high 13's stock and my car is only a high 14 car. Gets this poor guy all convinced of his invulnerability to the point he wants to skip me and go after the '66 GTO and '68 Chevelle in our group (they were low 12 second cars, mine was mid 13's at time though those numbers were a secret. They were just 'the next faster group' than mine). He finally realizes he has to work his way up - or is it 'down'?- the pecking order so he agrees to our race first.

We normally don't openly race for money, but this guy will not shutup about how fast his STOCK camaro is so Roger takes his wager. I try to stop it, but the camaro guy is insistent that he wont lose so it doesnt matter.... Some people just don't get it... I have to put up with the most ignorant, loud, obnoxious jackass I've ever known for the next 30 minutes as the other cars run, with LT1 big mouth running his mouth like New Orleans induced diarrhea. I mean come on! This bonehead has never raced, or owned anything faster than a '91 Camry. I have to threaten him with bodily injury to get him to go away until race time. Guy knew every stat about his then revolutionary LT1 Z28 except the most important one: "Size 12 shoes will only fit into a open mouth".

We line up, scrub our tires and pull up to Roger who is flagging. As his arms come down I wait for the LT1 to take off first so he doesnt have any excuses. 2/10ths after Roger's arms came to a stop he finally leaves. Or should I say "attempts to leave"? He spins up his Goodyear GS-C's and is too amped to let up on the throttle. I shake my head and let up at half track.

We re-raced later that night after Roger took him aside and showed him how to launch properly. I beat him by a couple car lengths. Confused why it was that close I find out Roger put Track Bite on his tires. probably a side bet I was unaware of... <shaking head as I walk away>

The next week I ordered the MSD 6A, bigger 1 3/4 hooker headers, yet another cam & springs(10 diff cams I tried on that engine), single plane intake and traded for a set of fully ported 2.02 'camel hump' heads...
__________________________________________________ _________________________________________

My brother takes his IROC to Pacific Raceways (S.I.R. back then). Waiting for the tech guy to show up, he talks to two kids in a stock 300Z. They are really interested in his modded IROC until he tells them last time out it ran a 13.10. They look at each other smiling and ask "why so slow?"

Instead of answering that, he looks at him shrewdly and asks how fast he thinks his Z will run.

"It'll run mid to low 12's, these things are totally underrated by the factory."

"Stock they are a high 13 car. What makes you think yours will run 12's??" My brother asks.

The passenger pipes up his version of ignorance this time: "We marked off a 1/4mile and I used a stop watch to time him, should be pretty close. Those magazines were so biased against them when they tested them..."

Dumbfounded I walk off shaking my head. My brother sticks around and tries to talk sense into him, warning him his first time out you dont even look at time slips, learn the lights etc., and that he will probably run a 14 flat at best. The kids walk off on him mid sentence.

Passing tech we go our seperate ways, with the Newbs taking one of the very first stalls to park in. My brother saw his first pass; 14.4 seconds. When the kid returned to the pits, he drove right past his stall and parked out in the very back of the pits, making his friend carry there chairs and cooler to him. They left shortly afterwards.

...The next week I ordered yet another cam and upgraded to a 850 Holley just because...

Last edited by Sticks_n_Stones; 04-24-2009 at 08:56 AM.
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-01-2009, 10:16 PM
 
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Wow, no one has else is old and has had any escapades in their chosen ride?

I'll toss one out to the croud. I began buying parts for my 87 IROC in the mid 90's with getting the car into the mid twelves. In 2000 I finally decided to buy a ZZ4 shortblock to finish off the build. Two short blocks later, the car ran great. Sticks and I started it in my garage and everything went well.

The next day I took my wife for a ride. Wouldnt you know, a Saleen S281 convertible mustang whips out of a gas station as we drive by. I saw the drivers eyes light up as we aproached. I told my wife I didnt want to race this guy becuase the engine only had a coule of miles on it. Two stop lights later, this guy goaded me into kicking his ass. We both nailed it off the line, got two lengths by 40 mph, by 80 I had 4 lenghts on him. we both got caught at a red light. He sheepishly pulled up next to us and said " that thing runs pretty good". I told the guy that the engine was new and I was babying it. He looked shocked, the light turned green and I left him in a cloud of Goodyears.








i
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-06-2009, 02:09 AM
 
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A friend of mine has a 98 VW (I can't remember the model but not a bug) with a V-6 and some real nice exhaust work.
He pulls up beside me and hits it, I let him go for a minute and catch up along side, then I begin moving my arms back and forth like I'm running, and punch it leaving him like he is standing still.

A 3000 GT Turbo pulled up along side me at a red light, I didn't even expect him to run, but he did. He took off and I cruzed up behind him and when we were between a long row of tall buildings I dropped it down to "2" and punched it, scaring him so bad he almost lost control. He had his windows down making it even louder for him.

I beat a 2002 Camaro SS by half a car length when we shut down around 70. I expected to win by more.....

I had a 57 Chevy behind me, so I moved to the right lane so he could pull up along side. He punched it and took off so I let him go ahead of me then ran him down from behind and then slowed down to ride side by side but he wouldn't look at me.

I also beat an 04 mustang GT but it was so gutless it's not even worth talking about.

I had the ricer crew in town pull all around me at a red light reving their fart cans up at me. So I did a break stand at around 3000 RPM letting the back end break loose and slide side to side. When the light turned green I dropped the break and left them in my cloud of dust.
Pretty stupid I know but I need new tires anyway.

There is a beautiful Charger SRT-8 I want to run but an old lady drives it and I haven't seen her take it over 40mph.
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-07-2009, 04:44 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IROCDave View Post
I'll toss one out to the croud. I began buying parts for my 87 IROC
I bought a brand new red 87 iroc back in 87. First year of the 5.7!

On to funny stories I was out cruzing to the gym last summer and I come up on this mid 90 hyundia ******. Huge wing on the back. Glue on pep boy fender vents. cheap crome wheel covers and a body kit that didn't even look like it was made for the car. Come to the stop light and just being silly I throw the kid a rev. Well he Stands on the throttle and revs til theres a cloud of smoke behind us. Light turns grean and I out launch the kid bad. I get a good lenth before he gets traction and he start to reel me in a little. We had to stop at the next light but I still had him on my rear quarter when we stopped. I'll take driver skill over more power anyday. Oh and by the way I'm undefeated in my 07 chevy Aveo with 100 crank HP.

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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-07-2009, 08:14 AM
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OK, here is one. The year is 1988, the setting small town in OR that has a large cruising scene that starts about dusk and has a lot of nice classic cars.

I'm driving my '66 Chevelle, 327, headers, and a 4-speed. It's still day light about 8PM. My buddy and I are parked on the corner smokin and jokin...

These two windsurfers(I use the term loosly, pretty much describes anyone from outta the area, and with money) roll up in a brand new Mazda MX6 and they think their pretty cool and fast.

We talk for a bit and then they start in on the car... "is it fast?" "I don't know I think this Mazda could take it" "Where is a good place to eat? We want to go there FAST" So we jump in the cars, they pull up next to us on the street and we go, I hammer it and hit 120 in about three blocks and don't slow down for about two miles.

I pull off the side of the road and wait. Minutes later they pull up embarrassed, "man that car is fast..." I say you still want to eat? And then lead them over to the restaurant.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-18-2009, 11:11 AM Thread Starter
 
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Nice ones fellas, really like that one Aveo punchline Blue Beast! lmao And REX, nothing like being out of your car with the engine off waiting for someone to catch up to you! hahaha its better than tattooing a big "L" to there foreheads!

Got another one for you (I'm making a seperate kill post also):

Turning left off my road I see a red with white stripes newer Mustang drive by infront of me. At first dismissing it as a slow GT, I see it has a body kit with big letters on the door sill "GT 350". (Turned out its a Shelby car) Suddenly interested I go right and follow him through a tight set of 90 deg turns. He putters thru them at below the speed limit refusing to take the bait of my grill in his mirrors. I see the guy eyeballing through his mirrors, then something was said because both teens in the car turned around and stared - probably trying to ID the car.

Smiling, I know what he's gonna do after the last sharp corner that leads to a 1/2 mile straight, so as I clear the corner I swing into the oncoming lane to pass him when I see the roads clear. Sure enough he punches it the second he gets straight, beating me to the throttle by a few tenths. Confident I can still pass him I stay in the oncoming lane, lurching even with him on the shift to second gear. I look over and this guy is absolutely PISSED, veins popping in his head as he slams through his next gear! Smiling I keep the throttle buried. By half way thru 3rd I'm 4+ cars ahead so I put my blinker on and change back into my lane. He nails his brakes HARD, so I do too, dropping to 20mph in the 35 zone. He stays a 100' back at least at won't get close to me so I wave at him at take off.

Granted he had 3 people in the car, but I weigh 350lbs, the driver couldnt have been more than 160lbs, and the kids were 15-16 yr old skinny teens, maybe a combined weight of 460lbs? Not anywhere near enough to justify the 10+ car lengths I put on him!

I've seen his car around my town a half dozen times at least, and he's always in first gear rumbling around parking lots and stuff, thinking he's the top dog in town or somethin. Bet he uses second gear now when he sees my GTO.
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-18-2009, 12:06 PM
 
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^ double posting = BAN

jk...but you don't really need a thread AND a post haha
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-18-2009, 12:31 PM Thread Starter
 
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Yeah I know, I was just stoked.
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