Figured you guys could share some of your more memorable kills that are either funny NOW or were funny at the time (not necessarily the same thing!).
I've literally street raced thousands of times, both street light, freeway, and illegal backroads 1/4 mile events. My car of choice for most of it was my '78 Z28 which went from low 14's when I got it to high 12's. Right where all the funs at with all the fast stock sports cars, beginning racers, and numerous other characters that make it more entertaining than any other speed group IMO. 12.00 second on down car drivers are too serious and uptight, and slower than low 14's is just too slow IMO.
My funnier stories:
Summer of '96 Friday night in Kirkland, WA (scenic hangout for the Microsoft nerds with there exotic cars, never know what you'll be racing). I was parked BS'ing with my brother when a 3000GT VR4 leaves the nearby stoplight HARD, chirping his 4 tires, then cruises by with the suit and tie driver staring hard at my Z28.
Brother and I glance at each other, and smile. Two sodas hit the ground, I Bo Duke across the hood and we are chasing. Two blocks to catch him at a light, with a Honda full of college age guys inbetween. A perfect race spot: road is elevated going uphill without a turnout for at least a 1/4mile.
The Honda knows whats up, they are looking back at us and up at the VR4, acting all excited. Heh Heh Spectators to the Mother of all Flyby's I'm planning. Green light, Honda follows VR4 on quick jump thru intersection and gets into the other lane and slows. I wait for the gap to widen as the VR4 is just cruising 35mph now, not seeing what is about to happen. NOW! Drop the shifter into first, nail the gas n change lanes. I pass him at 6200rpm, the sound devastatingly loud, bouncing off the concrete blocks on either side of the road like a echo chamber. I see him drinking a Big Gulp all innocent like for a split second before the sound hits him, then he jumps in his seat like a snake bit him when the cascade of sound hits his ears. I missed it, but he CRUSHED the 32 ounce big gulp in his grip and spills it all over himself!!!! My brother is in hysterics as he relays that to me.
Guy initially didnt chase but when he realized he couldnt just wipe the mess up with his hanky he got pissed and chases us, racing us up a freeway onramp (I lost) and on the freeway twice (I won both barely). After both the Big Gulp episode and the 2 loses I woulda figured he would just pull off the freeway anonymously but he actually pulled up next to us and gave my car a thumbs up. Cool dude after all.
Damn that was funny though, I can't help but grin every time I think of that even 12 years later!
The next week I ordered a new cam and intake, cant let it get that close again...
Cruising thru town in my old '78 4spd Z28 I come across 2 teens in a restored conv. '66 mustang. Daddies car. As i pull up next to them they rev the engine and expose the fact its a stock 289 with cherry bombs to my trained ear.
Next light is last in town and road goes to 55mph and down to 1 lane after about 100 yards-a race instigators dream. As luck would have it its red, no cars around and he is revving his engine while passenger is hooting and hollering. I knod at him. At the green I launch perfectly and immediately have to let up because he is spinning his one tire mercilessly. His 'retro' white wall high mileage single rear tire finally gets more grip than this monster V8 can spin and pulls even with me. I let him start pulling away slowly and his passenger is going nuts beatin on the dash screaming, whooping, absolutely ecstatic. I'm barely quarter throttle.
Waiting...waiting... 100 ft till my lane ends.... my Holley 750 double pumper is opposite the passengers head.. then WHAM! I floor it secondaries slam open air flooding thru with a giant vacuum sound- left front of car lifting- tires barely holding traction- perfect 2nd gear shift with squeeling tires- I rocket around them like they where in reverse a scream of joy LITERALLY FROZEN on the passengers face -hand still midair- drivers head snaps over in shock and awe as my car pulls like the proverbial raped ape past and away from them. I was laughing so hard I could barely manage the 2-3 shift.
I slow down to way below speed limit but they wont get anywhere near me. They then pull a U-turn and head back into town with there tail firmly tucked between there knees. God I used to live for those moments.
...The next week I ordered a higher duration cam and tossed the Rhoad's bleeddown lifters so that the lope would scare guys like that away...
Stationed on Whidbey Island, WA. Roger, a friend of mine is the local race instigator and race bookie. Guy could quite literally get a tortoise to race a hare, and make the tortoise think he was favored to win! A non-racing friend of ours had just bought the first LT1 4th gen camaro in town. Parkey's eyes lit the hell up when he saw him pull into the parking lot! He manages to convince him that his car is good for high 13's stock and my car is only a high 14 car. Gets this poor guy all convinced of his invulnerability to the point he wants to skip me and go after the '66 GTO and '68 Chevelle in our group (they were low 12 second cars, mine was mid 13's at time though those numbers were a secret. They were just 'the next faster group' than mine). He finally realizes he has to work his way up - or is it 'down'?- the pecking order so he agrees to our race first.
We normally don't openly race for money, but this guy will not shutup about how fast his STOCK camaro is so Roger takes his wager. I try to stop it, but the camaro guy is insistent that he wont lose so it doesnt matter.... Some people just don't get it... I have to put up with the most ignorant, loud, obnoxious jackass I've ever known for the next 30 minutes as the other cars run, with LT1 big mouth running his mouth like New Orleans induced diarrhea. I mean come on! This bonehead has never raced, or owned anything faster than a '91 Camry. I have to threaten him with bodily injury to get him to go away until race time. Guy knew every stat about his then revolutionary LT1 Z28 except the most important one: "Size 12 shoes will only fit into a open mouth".
We line up, scrub our tires and pull up to Roger who is flagging. As his arms come down I wait for the LT1 to take off first so he doesnt have any excuses. 2/10ths after Roger's arms came to a stop he finally leaves. Or should I say "attempts to leave"? He spins up his Goodyear GS-C's and is too amped to let up on the throttle. I shake my head and let up at half track.
We re-raced later that night after Roger took him aside and showed him how to launch properly. I beat him by a couple car lengths. Confused why it was that close I find out Roger put Track Bite on his tires. probably a side bet I was unaware of... <shaking head as I walk away>
The next week I ordered the MSD 6A, bigger 1 3/4 hooker headers, yet another cam & springs(10 diff cams I tried on that engine), single plane intake and traded for a set of fully ported 2.02 'camel hump' heads...
My brother takes his IROC to Pacific Raceways (S.I.R. back then). Waiting for the tech guy to show up, he talks to two kids in a stock 300Z. They are really interested in his modded IROC until he tells them last time out it ran a 13.10. They look at each other smiling and ask "why so slow?"
Instead of answering that, he looks at him shrewdly and asks how fast he thinks his Z will run.
"It'll run mid to low 12's, these things are totally underrated by the factory."
"Stock they are a high 13 car. What makes you think yours will run 12's??" My brother asks.
The passenger pipes up his version of ignorance this time: "We marked off a 1/4mile and I used a stop watch to time him, should be pretty close. Those magazines were so biased against them when they tested them..."
Dumbfounded I walk off shaking my head. My brother sticks around and tries to talk sense into him, warning him his first time out you dont even look at time slips, learn the lights etc., and that he will probably run a 14 flat at best. The kids walk off on him mid sentence.
Passing tech we go our seperate ways, with the Newbs taking one of the very first stalls to park in. My brother saw his first pass; 14.4 seconds. When the kid returned to the pits, he drove right past his stall and parked out in the very back of the pits, making his friend carry there chairs and cooler to him. They left shortly afterwards.
...The next week I ordered yet another cam and upgraded to a 850 Holley just because...