Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Gastonia, NC - Born & raised in Connecticut - 31 years
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I don't agree that the single sites are for hooking up, although that seems to be the consensus of most guys who use them and from the woman I have talked with who are constantly bombarded with guys looking for sex only. There are plenty of sites specific for hooking up or sexual encounters, but seems many guys get the impression they all are.
Tried Eharmony. This is really for people wanting to marry. They match you up by likes and personality traits than send you your matches - regardless of looks or body type. You don't get to surf through a bunch of profiles and choose. You don't really know how many women are even on the site/available in your area. It is one of the most expensive as you have to pay, so this in itself limits users.
Done Match.com. This one also requires you to pay, either monthly, 3 months, or more depending on what you want and the longer the payment period, the better the rate as compared to a single month. I believe they have upgrade options in contacting other members, but to me its a waste of money. You create your profile, add your pics, and you are off. Here you can surf the profiles of women in your area and you can set your parameters to narrow that down. They also match you based on your settings. You can see how many women checked out your profile and many of these sites now offer apps so people can surf on their smart phones and drop a message. They also have you rate women/guys that the site sends you as possible matches that you would like to meet and you can click "yes" "maybe" or "no". If you click yes, then the person gets an email saying you are interested. In three months, I got 70 views and not a single contact. Many women are simply looking, just like guys. I really didn't see any gals that appealed to me and many were out of the area I was willing to commute. I was also looking for a non-smoker and not interested in marriage, so the non-smoking aspect in the South and my age bracket eliminates about 85% of the available women. Not interested in marriage, that probably shot down another 10% of those who were non-smokers. What was left was not pretty.
POF (Plenty Of Fish) is free and owned by the same company who owns Match.com as you will see the same profiles on both sites. So you create your profile, add pics, etc.. FREE means you get the guys hounding the women for hook-ups. The women, in my opinion, are not the prettiest or most desirable, either physically or emotionally. Had 2 contacts that were actually hi-jacked profiles and the bottom line was that they were in a desperate situation and needed money to get them out of it - so you may be talking to someone who is not that person. Then the pics that many women post are not current pics, but photos when they were younger and in better shape and prettier. Had that experience when I met one gal in person, nothing like her pic because it was 10 years later. So a lot of that goes on. Many of the profiles never change. I have seen the same pics/profiles on POF for 4 years with no change, so many of the profiles are "dead" and kept up/not removed so you email and get no response. Makes it seem like more women are available than actually are. So I always ask for a current and up to date pic or I do not respond and waste my time.
There are other sites as well, like Our Time, again owned by the same company as Match & POF, so you see some of the same profiles/pics on each - tried it and a few responses, but I'm 57 and not going to get into a relationship with a gal older than me, just my preference, and when you get emails from 65+, it ain't for me.
So where do you meet people when you don't hang at bars & clubs? Try and strike up a conversation at the grocery store, Walmart, museum, on the street,etc. and women get scared thinking you are going to attack them, rape them, rob them, harm them, want something from them, or whatever because society has made it clear that all too often guys are attackers and predators of single/alone women thanks to the media and assorted TV shows that bring these kinds of subjects up and instill fear into any women. I am a big guy and have a few tattoos and trying to talk with what I perceive as a single gal (no ring, no kids, no man around) in any store you would think I was a known killer as they can't seem to clear out of the aisle fast enough LOL. Flirting does not exist any more because of all of the sexual harassment guidelines and of course if that card is pulled, you could lose your job, or worse, find yourself being sued.
The world is not right folks. It was much better when I was in my 20's & 30's and women were not in fear of men and men could flirt freely without fear of insulting a woman (because they used to be flattered by it) or fear of retaliation by legal means.