Turns out the bulb on the driver's side is missing. Shoot, for all I know, it was never there in the first place.
If you've got a manual, do you realize where this bulb is located? Right above the clutch pedal! I have a feeling that somewhere along the line, someone (either me or Bubba at the dealership) smacked the bulb with a toe and knocked it out. I looked all around under the seat, but I can't find it.
Oh well. When I go in for my next oil change, I'll see about getting a bulb. They'll probably have to order it from Australia, and it'll arrive next spring.
In the meantime, I'll just struggle along in the dark.